So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
