yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
