Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
