How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the day after is always just damage control
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
