I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize