i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
