I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
