I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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