hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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