I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
