Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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