Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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