now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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