Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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