I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
