You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
