he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
