I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize