Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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