I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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