Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my vag is so smooth its legendary
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize