so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
