Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
