Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize