remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
