it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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