Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
