Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
