why didn't you poke me back
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so let's talk penis.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
