so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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