I think my vagina is haunted
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
