How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize