im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
