so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
