we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
