they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize