It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
