When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
