that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
