I love black thongs
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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