who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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