literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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