So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
