Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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