Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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