There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
