It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
