just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
