My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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