He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
