last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
