I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
