everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
