That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
