Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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