Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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