Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
