Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
