end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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