I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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