party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
