she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
