You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize