dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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